Thursday, March 13, 2008

Day 5 of 30 Days of Freebies!

I had 2 kids home sick, and let me tell ya, I'd rather sit through a stuttering Dubya's narration of The Thornbirds than to take care of 2 sick kids. I love them, but sometimes I wanna hang a sign around their neck that says "I speakee no Englisee," put them in a beached raft on the coast of Miami, and make myself scarce. I have no doubt that the government will treat them better than if they were believed to be true American citizens.

And how can grandparents ALWAYS have something important to do when the kids are sick? I swear, any other day of the year my mom or mother-in-law would jump at the chance to spend the day babying and spoiling the kids. My mom hasn't had a hair appointment in 20 years but you let her hear one little sneeze in the background at my house and she suddenly has an appointment to have her hair colored purple. One day I'm gonna keep pushing her on this issue until she finally goes through with it. And have no doubts, she WILL go through with it if her only other option is to babysit a sick child.

My best friend's hubby had outpatient surgery today to remove a cyst off the bottom of his foot. My friend called after they got home, to let me know everything went fine, and she had him all doped up and knocked out so she could get some housework done. Anyway, she said when they released him, they made her sign a paper promising to take care of him when they got home. Can you believe this?? A woman can pop out a baby or two and is expected to be taking care of herself, a newborn, and any other children they already have, within 2 days of delivery, but let a man have a small incision and he gets treated like he lost all 4 limbs in a freak BBQ'ing accident. I'm not saying that the wife shouldn't take care of him when he needs it, but are women so untrustworthy that they have to sign a legal document promising to tend to him? I bet the man who came up with this idea not only routinely got the crap beat out of him by his wife, but he also probably proposed that DHR be sent out to check on him each day until he was back on his feet and admitted to being able to tend to himself.

The conversation would probably go something like this...."Department of Human Resources calling! We're here to make sure that you are abiding by the terms of the contract that states your promise to love, honor, cherish, obey, and wait on your husband hand and foot, in sickness, health, and especially in times of PMS. We will need to check him visually for any new bruises or skillet imprints on his head or other areas of his body, black eyes, swollen noses, golf clubs tied around his neck, or other signs that you've beat the living hell out of him in his incapacitation. We will also check his satisfaction and contentment levels and will need to know the last time you had sex. If it has been less than 2 hours we'll need to assure ourselves that you have remedied that situation immediately. If all conditions have been met, we'll need to do a DNA test on each of you to determine if his real wife paid someone else to care for him, or if you might have hung a sign around his neck that says 'I speakee no englisee,' put him on a raft, set him afloat off of the coast of Miami, and paid an imposter to lie on your couch and bitch. This will only take a couple of hours and then we won't bother you again until our next check at noon."

OK, yeah, I stayed up too late again. I'll stop rambling and let you grab today's freebies. The ribbons in today's preview have been divided into 2 parts for you to grab today and tomorrow. Download Part 1 at 4Shared -Or- Rapidshare and place these into the 'Ribbons' folder of your growing Peachy Fantasy collection. There are 3 ribbons in one part and 4 in the other, but strangely I can't remember which day had which ones...LOL. And if you haven't yet gotten the folders for the kit, just scroll over to yesterday's post and snag those as well. I've tried to make it easy for you to keep Peachy Fantasy organized and easy to use!

If you wanna snag a few more goodies, please be sure to stop in to see Kimberly at Star Scraps and Michelle at Missie's Scrak Attic. Still bored? Grab today's best freebies at DigiFree's Scrap Search Engine! ---End of Commercial---



Maria said...

Thank you! Your blog post will be advertised on the DigiFree Digital Scrapbooking Freebie search engine today.

Missie said...

OMG...I just love it. I can so relate to your post because I have heard nothing but bitching from the hubby. And to top it off, he is only going to be gone a couple of hours on Sat. His ex is meeting him in Oklahoma, ruined my plans of the weekend at home alone. If the Texas Dept. of Human Resources showed up around here we would have a showdown that's for sure because I would laugh at them first off because I am assured the my all loving hubby would never sign a paper like that. Here's why..I have been ill going on DAY 2 NOW and he brings in dinner last night,now keep in my throat is swollen, I got pizza with grapefruit juice. Now lets think about the paper your friend signed did it state exactly how to care for her husband...follow me here. There are many ways to take care of a husband. Anything is fair game as long as you stay away from the foot. Sorry I would have laughed at the idiot that even asked me to sign the paperwork and I know a MAN had to have written that form up.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for today's gift. You are just way too funny! Love it!

Aunt Anne

StarSraps said...

Kitty-I just LOVE your posts! I was soooo very GRUMPY before I read it! Thank You so much for the laughs and the fantastic Freebie! I listed your freebie on my blog!

Sharon said...

Men can be such babies. I can be sick and still manage the kids, work, house. But my husband, bless his heart, gets sick and has to immediately go to bed.